pity (pyjama) party
by thegirlwiththedreams
Summary: We all know what happened with the girls when Cammie came back, but what about when she was gone? When Bex shows what they all feel, they decide to collect all the best memories they had with Cammie and bury them during a pity pyjama party. As they do so, they remember all the good times they had, and why exactly Cammie Morgan is their best friend. PICTURE FROM WE HEART IT!


_Hey! i've been trying to write a oneshot for a long time, but they always end up being longer than I want. Finally, an excellent challenge from the GGFC gave me a good idea: a pyjama party! This one is different than most are though, however. This also kind of helped me get out my frustration at Bex from OSOT, and show how she really felt when Cammie left. Here we go, and I hope you enjoy!_

Bex didn't know why she left.

Rebecca Baxter knew a lot of things. She knew how to incapacitate someone with nothing more than a Pink Pearl eraser and how to speak Mandarin better than any local. She even knew how to set a table with over 30 utensils, and how to use all of those defensively.

What Bex didn't know was why her comrade, her roommate, her best friend had left in the middle of night without so much as a good-bye.

Her eyes subconsciously flickered to the empty bed that lay in a pool of moonlight, the soft hue filtering in and showing the empty bed.

If she closed her eyes, she could see Cammie there, sleeping soundly on most nights, her breath soft and measured, perfectly average, but also one Bex knew by heart. There were other nights, however, when Bex pretended to be asleep, and she would hear sobs shake Cammie as she looked at the small picture of her father, Matthew Morgan, the only keepsake she had left of the man who had vanished mysteriously and without warning. Every time it had happened, Bex had wanted to hug her best friend and tell her that she felt so incredibly, deeply sorry, but some things you just can't put into words, no matter how many languages you know.

Yet Bex cursed herself inwardly. If she at least tried, just once, maybe Cam would still be here, still waking up every morning with her hair crow's-nest-crazy, still remembering the Cove Ops homework she sometimes forgot when it was five minutes still class, still yelling at Bex to stop stealing her waffles. Cammie Morgan could be crazy, but she was Bex's crazy best friend.

Her eyes shifted to her other two roommates, Liz and Macey. Ever since Cammie had left, she hadn't been able to get to sleep until utter exhaustion took over, as she couldn't look away from her friends for two seconds without worrying that they would slip away, unseen in the night, just like Cammie, and leave Bex even more alone. It would be so easy for them, Liz with her light, silent feet, and Macey with her well-practiced sneaking, to leave Bex in a blink of an eye with nothing but a ghost of a memory.

She felt her eyes begin to tear up, and she told herself firmly, _Baxters don't cry. They just don't!_ But lately, it seemed, she was more apt to do so, and silent tears were her frequent company many a night. Tonight, however, she couldn't control her tears. They spilled, wet and full, onto her pillow, and her voice caught in her throat in a horrible noise like a bird's call.

"Bex?" came the gentle voice from the area where Liz's bed was. "Are you alright?"

She tried to muffle her tears, but to no avail. "Yeah…I'm fine. Just go back to sleep, Lizzy."

She heard another voice, this time only a few feet away. Macey McHenry's cool, calculated tone said quite matter-of-factly, "No, you're not. Your cheeks are all blotchy, and if I can see that from here, in the dark, when you've usually got a good completion that right now looks awful, I can tell you're not okay."

Leave it to Macey to always be optimistic.

She could hear a gentle padding on the floor as Liz walked across in the old socks she always slept in, and she felt a gentle arm lightly grasp her hand. "Becca…" Somehow the name the girls only used when they were being extra-gentle and sweet brought out the full waterworks in Bex.

"I can't…can't even believe it! Why didn't she tell us? We are…or we were," she said darkly, "her best friends! How could Cam do this to us?" She broke into sobs yet again.

Now Macey was there too, and she started deftly braiding Bex's hair, in the soft, loose way on the side that always made Bex feel relaxed and like a child again. "Hon, I know. But if there was ever a girl who needed to find out the truth, it's Cammie." Bex gave Macey a look. While most girls would've cowered at Rebecca Baxter's death glare, Macey stretched her neck and looked defiantly back at Bex. "If anyone knows about screwing up and trying to find yourself, it's me. I'm not saying what Cammie did was right, but I get why she did it. I can barely handle my family life with two crazy parents, but if either of them died, I would be upset. Think about Cammie, and how close she was to her dad. If I would be sad, she must be devastated. And not knowing how or why, or even if he is really dead, that would be hard on anyone. We might not completely understand, but we have to be there for when she comes back."

Bex sniffled softly. Macey did have a point.

"However," Macey said, holding up a finger, "That does not mean we should wallow in sadness and self-pity. We've got to move on. Not completely, but we have to trust she'll come back when the time is right. We have to keep on living. So," Macey paused for a second, a cautious look on her face, as though trying not to upset Bex, "I think we should get out something that means a lot to us that involves Cam, and we should bury it away. Keep it hidden, lock it up. But when Cammie comes back, we'll dig it up and know that those days are over, and are best friend is back with us."

Liz's voice was barely audible as she whispered softly, "What if she doesn't come back?"

Macey's tone was cool, but Bex could see tears forming in the corner of her eyes. "Then we'll keep them there, in remembrance of an amazing spy, an amazing friend, an amazing girl- a Gallagher Girl."

The girls nodded solemnly. They knew that if that happened, they would do just so.

"Alright," Macey said, "Let's get this started!"

If anyone heard them rifling through their room, no one said so. Maybe there was an unspoken code between the staff about this sort of thing, maybe when it happened, they knew it must be so. In both the mind of a girl and a spy, it was not good to hold onto such a thing for long.

They pulled mementos out of hidden spots in drawers, removed old pictures from pockets of old sweatshirts, picked out faded notes that had been passed in class that had been hiding in old shoeboxes. If there was one thing spy girls knew how to do, it was hiding old memories. They all felt a little guilty that they had been holding out on each other, but when they thought that the others had hidden stuff too, their minds eased a little.

At first when they worked, they were silent, hands shaking a little as they gathered old scraps of their missing friend, but slowly, they started talking, then exchanging smiles, then giggling, till they were almost euphoric from forgotten memories and old stories. Even Macey, who had been missing the first few years, laughed plenty of times and relayed plenty of memories. Liz even put on an old reggae they used to all listen to, and they danced about the room, laughing as they spun each other about, laughing.

By the time they were done pulling out scraps, they had a small pile of Cammie-related junk. They slowly narrowed down the pile to a few things from each girl; for Macey, the wig she had worn when she had slipped into Roseville with Cammie, a stub from a comedy movie they had seen together, and the first note Cam had ever sent Macey, asking for help with Josh. From Liz there was the first test Cammie had ever asked Liz to help her with, the first ever boy-translating machine, and the sweatpants Cammie once stretched out when she borrowed them. Then finally, Bex put down the first pack of bubble gum Cammie had ever given her, the plane ticket they had gotten to ride over to England together, and the first notice they had ever gotten to practice in the P.E. Barn together.

The room suddenly got quiet as they looked at how much Cammie Morgan had changed their life. Cam had always said she felt invisible in front of her friends, but Bex almost teared up in frustration at her thick-headed friend. How could she not see how special she was? How important she was to them?

"Well," she said, much more calmly than she felt. "Let's bury this stuff."

The air was cold, and Bex shivered in her PJs, even though they were soft and flannel. Something about the way the school looked at night, or maybe what they were doing made her feel small and scared.

They surveyed the grounds, the soft beam of their flashlight casting light upon the grass, cold with a light, early frost. Finally, she found the place she was looking for.

"Here," she said, motioning to the a patch of ground that lay off to the side of a maple tree. How many times had they sat here, discussing schoolwork, or, more often, boys? The first time they had talked about Josh felt so long ago, like light years away.

The girls nodded silently at each other. This was a good place to plant new memories, right in the shade of something that held so many old ones.

They realized, as they went to dig a hole, that they had forgotten a shovel. However, they wordlessly set to digging with their fingers. Her hands grew sticky with sweat and dirt, Liz's hands shivered with cold, and Macey said "Ow!" several times as her finely-manicured nails broke, but no one talked about quitting.

Finally, after what seemed like years, they drew back, a small hole laying in front of them, deep enough to hold the things they had brought. They picked them up and placed them in, and even though they did so gently, each thing gave a soft, resounding thunk.

Eventually, their items lay in a neat pile. Quietly, they patted the dirt back on. Then they stood there, unsure of what to do. The wind blew softly though the trees, but it didn't calm Bex.

She felt herself break down yet again. _What was her problem?_ The other girls seemed to understand though. They wrapped Bex up in a big hug, and for a second, they just stood there, comforting each other in the fact that one of those girls who should've been there was missing.

Bex sniffled, and wiped her tears. Suddenly, she noticed a little flower that had sprung up, defiant, in the shadow of the tree. It should've, logically, not been able to grow, as the roots of tree had been there since Gillian Gallagher had stopped that first assassination attempt, and they were strong and powerful. However, the little bud stood strong, almost stubbornly, as if to say, 'you're not getting rid of me that quickly'. She couldn't help but a smile a little.

"What?" the other girls said. "What is it?"

"Nothing," Bex said. "I just know that if she wants to come back, she'll find her way. She's our Cammie, our girl. A Gallagher Girl."

The girls nodded in agreement. When Cammie wanted to come home, she would.

_Hoped you like this! Please review, and if you liked it, favorite! Thanks for reading! :)_


End file.
